My Progress

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The end is nigh! Right?

As I get closer and closer to that arbitrary goal weight of 225 pounds I picked almost a year ago, I'm beginning to realize a couple of things. One, I'm going to make it. I don't know if it'll be by late Summer like I'm hoping, but it's definitely gonna happen this year. Two, rather than feeling like I'm almost done, I now realize that I'm just getting started. The weight loss wasn't the story; it was the prologue. I have no idea what my new healthy life has in store for me, but I know I'm not going to waste it by going back to that 358.2 pound prison again.

This is very unfamiliar territory for me. I've never had to worry about maintaining my weight because I've never been at a weight that was appropriate for maintenance. MizFit's post today got me thinking about it. That's not to say I haven't thought about it before, but when it was on my list of blogs to read this morning, I couldn't help but give it some serious reflection. I've had nightmares about weight loss frequently in the past few months. Sometimes it's that I can't lose any more. Sometimes it's that I fail and gain it all back. Once it was that I couldn't put the breaks on and kept going to an extremely unhealthily low weight. The first is not a concern really (nor is the last) because I know I have the system and the support to keep chugging along, no matter the pace. The second scenario, however, is an ever-looming concern.

I hear tons of stories about people who lost it all, then slowly gained it all back. There are dozens of threads on WW forums every day about people that are back and starting over despite having already made it to goal once before. That CANNOT be me. I have never lost this much weight before. I want this to be the one and only time I lost it all. If I woke up tomorrow back at 358.2 pounds, I would feel so defeated that I don’t think I could continue. No, that WILL NOT be me.

There is some solace in knowing just how bad I’d have to be out of whack to fail that hardcore. I even made a post two months ago. I calculated how many calories I’d have to eat above and beyond my BMR to reverse all the progress I had made at that time and it was over 300,000 calories. That number goes up by 3500 for every additional pound I’ve lost, and by next weigh-in, it'll be over 350,000.

I like to believe that I'll be able to relax a bit and not be so mindful of my calorie counting once I get there. In reality, maintenance will require constant awareness and at least monthly check-ins to see how I'm doing. It’s going to be a balancing act for sure, but I think I’ll be taking advantage of this weight loss community and WW meetings for years to come in order to keep myself from relapsing.


Chubby Chick said...

I've thought a lot about that, too. I realize that losing 200+ lbs. is only the beginning and I'm going to have to work at maintaining the rest of my life. But I think being at a normal weight is going to be so wonderful it's really not going to be that bad working to stay there!

twinkelydots said...

My leader would say to people who reached maintenance: Nothing changes.

You continue on doing the same things that brought you to your goal.

We just keep on keeping on. Keep on keeping on.

Joy said...

My hubby was diagnosed last year with a disease, it was treated but he still has a condition which means meds every day for life.

Similarly, my weightloss is the primary treatment, the ongoing lfe changes are exactly that - for life.

You've done so well, surrounded yourself with others who care and by staying honest you will carry on doing well long after goal. =)

arielcircleofnine said...

I can relate...I lost a bunch and then put it all back on quickly due to allowing something to take over my life and reshift my focus. Never again. I can assure you, that I DID feel defeated but it does not last. I am now also wondering, what will it be like if and when I reach a weight I feel healthy and comfortable at? And the answer as other posters pointed out is: not much different than it is now!
I think determination that you have, and the tools and support we have found in each other's stories and continuing struggles is key. You have done and will continue to do great. one day at a time!!!

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

This is a concern that bothers all of us. I'm stuck in the fact now that I don't think I CAN lose anymore weight. I'm one step forward two steps back. It's killing me! It's people like you that keep me going though.

So thank you. You're doing great, and you will continue to do so. Rid the nightmares...they're not true!

Dina said...

I think it's good to be scared of gaining it back. It'll keep you vigilant.

Although I do think skinny furries are frowned upon... :)

Tony said...

Hey, I know what it is like to gain all it back, and it certainly SUCKS. So, yea, you won't let that happen to yourself :).

Also, I called you, but you didn't answer.

RebeccaJ said...

I agree with Dina, a little fear is not a bad thing. I used to be 250 and I'm now around 155. I've pretty much maintained since 2006. I did have a bad year and put about 10 pounds back on but believe me, I was sooooooo irritated once I finally acknowledged it, and I took it back off. It's TOOOOO much damn work to lose it again, you won't let it happen to you. Exercise routine for life, scale once a week for life. I've actually been considering a half marathon and it sounds kind of fun to me now(sick right?). Yep, I'm all for a little fear.

MizFit said...

I hate to say you can do it! and sound too suzie sunshine---but I know that you can.

In my opinion its a daily choice to maintain and one which you can make simply by making DAILY TIME to blog as a reminder!

Ron said...

You are doing great and you are determined, your determination will help you maintain!

Anonymous said...

This post made me think about what happens when I drop the remaining 90~100 pounds I have left to go. I honestly have not thought about it much yet.

I believe that you can keep it off once you get it off. I think that after making it so far you have proven that you have the will power to maintain the weight. As others have said, a little fear is probably good for helping you not relapse.

I would also advise continuing to blog. Few things motivate me to not fail like having things out in public. Pride is a powerful thing and it can make one refuse to fail.

wildfluffysheep said...

Hello there, mister!

Thanks ever so much for stopping by my blog lol sorry you chose my big knicker post to do so!

I was thinking about this last night when I was working out on the cross trainer. It kind of made me sad a little. Just the fact it would never be effortless. I would always be doing something to not gain back weight.

Kudos on your journey so far. I look forward to reading your other posts.

Carlos said...

be scared. never forgetting how fat felt is your best defense. i forgot have to do it all over again. sucks ass the second time. i am, a cautionary tale!

Fat Lazy Guy said...

Maintenance as a concept is scary. Trying to stay level when all we've been doing is either losing or gaining.

But I don't think maintenance is too different from what we're doing now. You might have a gain one week, a loss one week, and a maintain the next. We're bound to fluctuate, it's just trying to stay in the general vicinity, I think.

But then what do I know? I'm still losing :D

Pamela said...

You KNOW I relate to this. Very well said. I think my favorite lines are these:

"Two, rather than feeling like I'm almost done, I now realize that I'm just getting started. The weight loss wasn't the story; it was the prologue."

Thank you for sharing this!