As I get closer and closer to that arbitrary goal weight of 225 pounds I picked almost a year ago, I'm beginning to realize a couple of things. One, I'm going to make it. I don't know if it'll be by late Summer like I'm hoping, but it's definitely gonna happen this year. Two, rather than feeling like I'm almost done, I now realize that I'm just getting started. The weight loss wasn't the story; it was the prologue. I have no idea what my new healthy life has in store for me, but I know I'm not going to waste it by going back to that 358.2 pound prison again.
This is very unfamiliar territory for me. I've never had to worry about maintaining my weight because I've never been at a weight that was appropriate for maintenance. MizFit's post today got me thinking about it. That's not to say I haven't thought about it before, but when it was on my list of blogs to read this morning, I couldn't help but give it some serious reflection. I've had nightmares about weight loss frequently in the past few months. Sometimes it's that I can't lose any more. Sometimes it's that I fail and gain it all back. Once it was that I couldn't put the breaks on and kept going to an extremely unhealthily low weight. The first is not a concern really (nor is the last) because I know I have the system and the support to keep chugging along, no matter the pace. The second scenario, however, is an ever-looming concern.
I hear tons of stories about people who lost it all, then slowly gained it all back. There are dozens of threads on WW forums every day about people that are back and starting over despite having already made it to goal once before. That CANNOT be me. I have never lost this much weight before. I want this to be the one and only time I lost it all. If I woke up tomorrow back at 358.2 pounds, I would feel so defeated that I don’t think I could continue. No, that WILL NOT be me.
There is some solace in knowing just how bad I’d have to be out of whack to fail that hardcore. I even made a post two months ago. I calculated how many calories I’d have to eat above and beyond my BMR to reverse all the progress I had made at that time and it was over 300,000 calories. That number goes up by 3500 for every additional pound I’ve lost, and by next weigh-in, it'll be over 350,000.
I like to believe that I'll be able to relax a bit and not be so mindful of my calorie counting once I get there. In reality, maintenance will require constant awareness and at least monthly check-ins to see how I'm doing. It’s going to be a balancing act for sure, but I think I’ll be taking advantage of this weight loss community and WW meetings for years to come in order to keep myself from relapsing.
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17 hours ago