My Progress

Friday, March 20, 2009

How easy it is to be lazy

Spring break is a fantastic time when 20-somethings fly off to Ft. Lauder Cancun Corpus Cabo san Miami. The chicks dress in dental floss and bandaids, the guys in board shorts and Ray Bans. Everyone gets hammered, interviews with MTV, and hopes they'll get laid and wind up on the next edition of Girls Gone Wild. This has never described my Spring break. Mine is the time when I hang out with friends, sleep in, catch up on TV and goof off on the interwebs.

This was how it was all through undergrad and the first two years of grad school. This year, however, I'm a bundle of energy, getting into shape and extremely busy wrapping up my thesis and working on a take-home test. Or not. I got back from Dallas Monday night and since then I haven't gotten a lick of activity, typed a word on my thesis or even stepped foot outside this house for more than a couple of hours yesterday.

Fear not, I'm going to kick it into gear on the scholastic front for the next 60 hours. I've been eating great and feel like tomorrow is going to be a good weigh-in, but I can't help but feel disappointed that I've let myself fall into my usual lazy ways. How soon we forget, no?

Or maybe, I just feel a sense of entitlement. That same entitlement that I rationalized gave me license to drink 10 Bud Lights and 8 or 9 ounces of Vodka or smoke a pack of Camel lights or eat a bigass full fat chicken fried steak smothered in cream gravy, 4 fresh baked, made-from-scratch biscuits and numerous other sides.

I'm not concerned about that slippery slope though, because I know I'm on vacation and life will go back to normal on Monday and I'm still tracking all my food. I made some good choices while I was down there aside from Saturday, which was a pretty heavy hit (as you can probably surmise from the previous paragraph). I'm not concerned because I'm still in weight loss mode. There will probably always be this nagging doubt that I'll be able to transition into maintenance as gracefully as so many before me.

I know a lot of people tell horror stories of losing 100 and then gaining 120. That cannot be me. I've never been successful before now and I don't want to deal with that failure and sense of dread garnered from having to start over. I have confidence that as long as I continue with the accountability here and at meetings I'll survive the maintenance phase, but this vacation has demonstrated to me very clearly how easily I could fall into my old ways if I give myself permission (ie, I've finally lost all the weight, now I shall reward myself with a 72oz steak!).

1 comment:

MizFit said...

and this is why it wont:
That cannot be me.

make that your mantra. change it to the positive (IT ISNT ME. I AM SUCCESSFUL AND REMAINING THAT WAY)